A new beginning

Hi;

It has been quite some time since I have logged on and posted my thoughts on this blog. I have been pondering whether to discard this blog or to keep it and continue with it. Well; as the title indicates, I have decided to keep the blog and continue to post my thoughts, dreams and aspirations here.

It has been about a year since I have last posted something meaningful here and I have been wondering where I am going to find the time to do this, now that I have made this decision. I will just have to make time somehow as this blog has been my way of keeping track of my state of mind; my well-being.

I cannot promise that this will be a regular feature, but my sitting here tonight writing this post is a start, a new beginning. If you have enjoyed my previous posts, then come back regularly to check whether I have posted anything new. Who knows, there may just be something which will pique your curiosity or get you thinking...

Regards
Sean

Footprints in the sands of time...

"Lives of great men all remind us

we can make our lives sublime,

and, departing, leave behind us

footprints on the sands of time"

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I came across this quotation while reading one day and it got me thinking. We can all be great men or woman yet we choose not to be. The difference between being great and just mediocre is that great people don't just speak about issues, they act upon their convictions.

We live our lives in seclusion. As I have written before, we tend to keep people out of our personal space. The result of this action is that we live with blinkers on. Unless something affects us personally, we tend to ignore everything else that happens around us. So the cascading effect is that the world becomes more and more unbearable to live in. Crime, abuse, war, sickness and disease pervade our society and we don't do anything about it. We sit at dinner parties, around the coffee areas at the office and we discuss these issues, sometimes with real passion but when we go our separate ways, all the passion and ideas are forgotten.

This is what separates us from the great men and women in history. Martin Luther King spoke about having a dream where all men are born equal. He lived his life determined to right a wrong and made a difference. In South Africa, Steve Biko spoke out against discrimination and the right to decent education for all and not just a small minority and he made a difference. These men did not just speak about it, they did something about it. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years of his life in prison because he believed in his fight for equality, the result? He became the first democratically elected black president of South Africa. He made a difference.

If everyone stopped talking and started doing something about what they saw was wrong, in what they believed; crime, disease, poverty etc would become a distant memory. Human nature prevails and is victorious. There are many people in this world who really care passionately in the plight of their fellow human beings, but only a few who are determined to do something about it and actively work towards making a difference. Religion, race, creed, nationality, should never be a determining factor in whether we do the right thing. These are excuses for those of us who are more comfortable in discussing world, national or local issues around the water-cooler rather than signing up one way or another in doing something about it.

This world we live in is filled with heartache and pain, sickness and disease, poverty and hunger, crime and murder. Many of the issues labeled here are closer to us than we would like to believe. We choose to ignore it as our daily lives are more important. Nothing can stop us from achieving what we set out to do; especially not issues which we believe are any of our concern. WRONG!!!! It is our concern. These issues affect us, if not directly then indirectly. It is time we stopped talking about them but actively doing something about them. It is time we start the walk where we can leave our footprints in the sands of time.

Freedom...

... it is what I yearn for. The freedom which allows us to express ourselves in any way we choose; without the fear of ridicule and condemnation. Freedom to live your life the way you want without being questioned. Although we are living in a time where there is freedom of choice and democracy, we are still bound. We are shackled by the norms and values set upon us by society. We are dictated to by others as to what is acceptable or not.

I would really like to experience a freedom where I am able to live and not merely exist. I am feeling shackled, restricted. I am frustrated by my inability to do what I know I have to do but cannot, because of certain restrictions. Restrictions which hampers my progression toward a goal which I have set myself. I find that this contributes hugely to the way I am feeling - a feeling of despondency, hopelessness. I have been thinking of ways to get out of the situation I am in and there seems no way out. The more I think about it, the more frantic I am becoming and the gloomier the outlook is.

I have spoken to a very special person recently, who sat and listened to what I had on my mind. She listened without interrupting, feeling my frustration and my inadequacy. Although I hate to admit it, speaking about it to her was like the sun breaking through the clouds on a rainy day. Why do I hate to admit it? Well I believed that this served no purpose and I told her as much. Telling someone about your problems make you vulnerable. I felt that the only result of sharing your problems is that you open yourself up and nothing changes, tomorrow the problem is still there. Speaking to her about it really helped me and gave me a kind of comfort which I haven't experienced in a long time. It has given me a sense of freedom even though the problem is still there. I do know that she cares as deeply about my situation as I do and that she is intent on assisting me to find a solution. I feel that sharing my problem with her has made me feel more free than I have felt in a long time.

Although we have freedom, sometimes we are not truly free, we are restricted by things beyond our control. Our independence becomes limited because we cannot resolve the problem on our own, we need to share it so that we can liberate ourselves and attain our freedom - whether it be financial freedom, emotional freedom, spiritual freedom. We are only truly free when whatever it is that has a hold on us cannot keep its grasp thus giving us back control of our lives again.

I am hoping that I can attain my freedom again soon. That I can soar like an eagle above my problems giving me a new perspective. Hope gives you this freedom. Hope removes the self-doubt and replaces it with confidence. Hope removes the restrictions and the shackles and gives you the liberty. Hope removes the blindfold holding you captive and allows you to see things in a different light. Hope gives you freedom. Freedom allows you choice.

I want to be free...

I want to be free...
Free from a world filled with misery
Free from the shackles of society
I want to be free...
Free from a world filled with poverty
Free from people and their mediocrity
I want to be free...
Free from all the hate and bigotry
Free from people and their petty jealousies
I want to be free...
Free from a world filled with poverty and pain
Free from people interested in their own gain
I want to be free...
Free from my own insecurities
Free to face my own uncertainties
I want to be free...
Free to open my eyes and really see
Free to accept my realities
I want to be free...
Free to accept who I am and be me
Free to be the best I can be
I WANT TO BE FREE!

-Sean Petersen July 2006

A stranger's just a friend you do not know...

I have just spent some time sitting and watching people go about their business, walking to and fro. Some dressed smartly in their business suits while others were dressed – well let’s just say, not so smart; young and old, male and female. I watch as they drive up, their cars all fancy and shining with the odd “older” model making an appearance here and there. Well, just to put you in the picture, I work in a very up-market area, where most of the cars driving around cost a fortune. The building I work in (we are situated on the mezzanine level) is surrounded by coffee shops and eating places. So there I sat on the balcony, a cup of coffee in my hand, enjoying a cigarette (yes, I know – it’s a bad habit and I really am trying to quit) just watching the people as they walked past, listening to their voices as it floated up from the cafés and restaurants below. I looked across the square and everywhere I looked the places were filled with groups of people or single individuals, there was a bustle all around as the bright winter sun shone down upon the scene.

I sat thinking as I observed this scene playing out below me; "We pass people every day of our lives, bumping into them as we jostle along busy pavements going about our daily activities. The odd “I’m sorry” or “excuse me”, most times getting irritated by the “closeness” of the people around you, the environment forcing them into what today is known as our “personal space”. I miss the days when we were less technical and friendlier, where a “good morning” or “good afternoon” accompanied by a smile was the order of the day. We seemed to have had more time for each other then, we were more personable, more approachable. Today you are lucky to be given directions should you be lost. I look at the people below and I start wondering about them. Are they really as happy as they portray or is it a façade? All of them strangers, passing by each other, intent only on the business of the day. Friendliness seems to be a trait long forgotten, replaced by a self-centeredness ."

Life would be easier if we were friendlier, people smiling and being courteous toward each other as they go about their business and where strangers are made to feel welcome. Personally I love meeting new people. I love getting to know people from all walks of life, different cultures, different ways of thinking. How else can I improve the person I am? In today's society it has become extremely difficult to do this. Should you approach anyone without being requested to do so, you are looked upon as if you are mad; that there has to be something wrong with you. People automatically close up, their "burglar bars" coming down to protect them from the world, their eyes filled with suspicion and dread. They are like dear caught in your headlights and you are the vehicle. You see their indecision as they step back and attempt to walk around you as you approach them, panic taking over their every action. It is actually quite funny, you should try it sometime. This highlights the state of our society, the world we live in. I may be wrong when it comes to small towns and I apologise if I am generalising, but in the big city it sure is this way. Thinking of this brings a song to mind; a song my father used to play as I was growing up. It goes something like this:

“If ever your life is lonely, if ever you’re feeling low. There's one thing you must remember - A stranger’s just a friend you do not know.”

- Jim Reeves: A stranger’s just a friend

Thinking about this song, I got up from the chair I was sitting on and killed my cigarette, then finished the last of my now cold cup of coffee and went back to my desk leaving the hustle and bustle below.

Relationships

What is it about relationships that can make our lives deliriously happy or extremely miserable? Lately I have been thinking about relationships; family, friends, the relationship between a man and a woman.

Relationships are precarious things at best and good relationships are formed, forged and developed over a long period of time. When it comes to a relationship between a man and a woman this precarious “bond” becomes exponentially more so. I have found that when in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, at the start of the relationship the more time you spend with the individual the more your feelings toward the person grow stronger until it reaches a plateau. During this “honeymoon” period, all things are rosy and no matter what the person does it is acceptable and yeah, you find it cute. Then as you get used to the person and are comfortable in each other’s company, unless you are one of the few who know how to keep the flames of passion burning brightly, things start to wane and you start taking things for granted. The small things you did because you were in love now become more and more of a task than an act of love, so much so that you stop doing these things. The individual’s faults and flaws become more and more apparent – he snores, her feet are cold etc. The thin veneer called love which covered these little cracks seems to vanish and those idiosyncrasies you found so cute and adoring at the start of your relationship now become huge craters when things go wrong.

Relationships, especially those between a man and a woman, take hard work. You have to continually work at it to perfect it. Love too, is hard work but the result of loving someone and being loved by someone is well worth it. The mistake we make is thinking that being in love and staying in love is automatic. It is not. It is a continual act of caring and sharing, not just by saying I love you but showing that I love you by doing small silly things even making a fool of yourself to put a smile on your partners face.

Remember: A perfect relationship between you and your partner doesn’t mean that the people in it are perfect. It means that you both overlook each other’s imperfections. Love hopes all things and endures all things. Ultimately it is built on acts of faith.

We live by God's grace

Some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn't always turn out as planned.
You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world
You plan to be happy.
You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.
But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.

Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. With courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, God allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value Of everything He gave us.

Make plans, but understand that we live by God's grace .

Perceptions

I have just finished reading an article dealing with perceptions and this got me thinking, "How am I perceived by others? Does my appearance, actions or verbal communication portray a false image of who I am?" Most times our self-perception contradicts the reality. Why? - because perception is NOT reality. How we see or experience things differ from person to person. This being the case, how do I close the gap between the way I see myself and the reality which is me?

My mother always told me, "The first impression is a lasting impression, so make sure you look good." I find that although this may be so it is also presents us with a false impression or perception. Only once we have spent a reasonable amount of time with someone do we get to see the true person, yet it is this first sighting or perception with which we decide whether we like or dislike someone. Going back to my question, "How do I close the gap between the way I see myself and the reality which is me?"

If I were asked to describe myself, the first thought that would come to mind is private. I am a very private individual which is why I started this blog in the first place. I am hoping that through this blog people can see who I am. It is a place where I hope that I can display my beliefs, opinions, thoughts, feelings, dreams and fears as these are the things which make me who I am. My being a private person is the reality of who I am yet people perceive me to be an outgoing, fun filled individual who is always joking and clowning around. The description of how I am perceived and the reality of who I am are poles apart and through my writing I wish to allow others into "Sean's Secret Place" - my mind. I wish show those who read this another side to me. I never allow anyone into my thoughts, nor do I share these beliefs, opinions, thoughts, feelings, dreams and fears very easily. To do so is to open myself to ridicule so I shut myself in the corridors of my mind and keep whatever I find there to myself.

"A fellow can't keep people from having a bad opinion about him, but he can keep them from being right about it." - Author Unknown

How true this statement is. You cannot control people's thoughts or opinions about you but you CAN keep them from being right about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We seem unable to differentiate between opinion, perception and fact. So with my ramblings on this site I intend to "open" myself more to others. No matter how wrong my thoughts or opinions, they are mine. This is the most important thing. It is about me and my getting to know me. Hopefully through this medium I can close the gap between my self-perception and the reality which is me.

When life gives you lemons...

Life is so unfair!!! Nothing seems to be going your way. Everything just seems to be going wrong. Man, this sucks (sic)!!!

Have you ever felt this way? Has this ever happened to you? Well it has happened to me - more times than I care to remember. No matter how well I plan, no matter how sure the bet, no matter how prepared I think I am, something always happens to spoil the party.

I have been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I appologise for using this well worn yet apt cliche'. We dream dreams only to have them shattered. Everything goes along fine until suddenly - BAM!!! There it is... It has happened... Life. Yep, life has happened. Life has a way of creeping up on us and giving us a reality check. No matter who you are, what colour you are, what your status in life. No-one is spared from the realities of life. Life has a way of hitting us where and when we least expect it. We cannot prepare for it. We cannot shelter ourselves or hide from it, nor can we run away from it no matter how hard we try. It is there. It is going to happen.

So instead of reacting negatively and fighting against life I have decided to accept what life has to offer, be it good or bad, and embrace it. So, when life gives me lemons - I make lemonade.

If you are feeling as I do and you are tired of fighting against life; here is a first-aid kit to help you through:

Lemonade, that classic summer quencher, is easily made from scratch. The best version combines a simple sugar syrup and fresh squeezed lemon juice. This recipe serves two.

Ingredients:
1 c. sugar
1 c. water
1 large lemon
16 to 20 oz. cold water
ice
garnishes (optional): mint sprig, lemon slice, maraschino cherry

Steps:

1. Make sugar syrup: Combine 1 c. sugar and 1 c. water in a saucepan and heat to boiling. Remove from heat, stir to dissolve sugar completely, and allow to cool. (You'll only use a couple of tablespoons per serving, but this is a good item to make ahead and store in the refrigerator, covered. It keeps for weeks.)

2. For each serving, combine the juice of half a lemon, 2 tbsp. of the sugar syrup and 8 to 10 oz. cold water in a tall glass.

3. Add ice and any of the garnishes (or all of them, if you're feeling festive). Serve immediately.

Tips:

One lemon, depending on its size, will yield about 1/4 to 1/3 c. juice.

For a quick microwave version, combine 2 tbsp. sugar and 2 tbsp. water in a tall, microwave-safe glass. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Stir to dissolve completely, cool a bit, then add fresh lemon juice, cold water and ice, if desired.

Warnings:

Be extremely careful when handling hot sugar syrup. It can cause a nasty burn. A child can make the lemonade once the syrup is cooled, but an adult should do this first step.

(Recipe taken from: http://www.ehow.com/how_140_make-lemonade.html)