Freedom...

... it is what I yearn for. The freedom which allows us to express ourselves in any way we choose; without the fear of ridicule and condemnation. Freedom to live your life the way you want without being questioned. Although we are living in a time where there is freedom of choice and democracy, we are still bound. We are shackled by the norms and values set upon us by society. We are dictated to by others as to what is acceptable or not.

I would really like to experience a freedom where I am able to live and not merely exist. I am feeling shackled, restricted. I am frustrated by my inability to do what I know I have to do but cannot, because of certain restrictions. Restrictions which hampers my progression toward a goal which I have set myself. I find that this contributes hugely to the way I am feeling - a feeling of despondency, hopelessness. I have been thinking of ways to get out of the situation I am in and there seems no way out. The more I think about it, the more frantic I am becoming and the gloomier the outlook is.

I have spoken to a very special person recently, who sat and listened to what I had on my mind. She listened without interrupting, feeling my frustration and my inadequacy. Although I hate to admit it, speaking about it to her was like the sun breaking through the clouds on a rainy day. Why do I hate to admit it? Well I believed that this served no purpose and I told her as much. Telling someone about your problems make you vulnerable. I felt that the only result of sharing your problems is that you open yourself up and nothing changes, tomorrow the problem is still there. Speaking to her about it really helped me and gave me a kind of comfort which I haven't experienced in a long time. It has given me a sense of freedom even though the problem is still there. I do know that she cares as deeply about my situation as I do and that she is intent on assisting me to find a solution. I feel that sharing my problem with her has made me feel more free than I have felt in a long time.

Although we have freedom, sometimes we are not truly free, we are restricted by things beyond our control. Our independence becomes limited because we cannot resolve the problem on our own, we need to share it so that we can liberate ourselves and attain our freedom - whether it be financial freedom, emotional freedom, spiritual freedom. We are only truly free when whatever it is that has a hold on us cannot keep its grasp thus giving us back control of our lives again.

I am hoping that I can attain my freedom again soon. That I can soar like an eagle above my problems giving me a new perspective. Hope gives you this freedom. Hope removes the self-doubt and replaces it with confidence. Hope removes the restrictions and the shackles and gives you the liberty. Hope removes the blindfold holding you captive and allows you to see things in a different light. Hope gives you freedom. Freedom allows you choice.