We live by God's grace

Some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn't always turn out as planned.
You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world
You plan to be happy.
You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.
But MOST times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.

Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. With courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, God allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value Of everything He gave us.

Make plans, but understand that we live by God's grace .

Perceptions

I have just finished reading an article dealing with perceptions and this got me thinking, "How am I perceived by others? Does my appearance, actions or verbal communication portray a false image of who I am?" Most times our self-perception contradicts the reality. Why? - because perception is NOT reality. How we see or experience things differ from person to person. This being the case, how do I close the gap between the way I see myself and the reality which is me?

My mother always told me, "The first impression is a lasting impression, so make sure you look good." I find that although this may be so it is also presents us with a false impression or perception. Only once we have spent a reasonable amount of time with someone do we get to see the true person, yet it is this first sighting or perception with which we decide whether we like or dislike someone. Going back to my question, "How do I close the gap between the way I see myself and the reality which is me?"

If I were asked to describe myself, the first thought that would come to mind is private. I am a very private individual which is why I started this blog in the first place. I am hoping that through this blog people can see who I am. It is a place where I hope that I can display my beliefs, opinions, thoughts, feelings, dreams and fears as these are the things which make me who I am. My being a private person is the reality of who I am yet people perceive me to be an outgoing, fun filled individual who is always joking and clowning around. The description of how I am perceived and the reality of who I am are poles apart and through my writing I wish to allow others into "Sean's Secret Place" - my mind. I wish show those who read this another side to me. I never allow anyone into my thoughts, nor do I share these beliefs, opinions, thoughts, feelings, dreams and fears very easily. To do so is to open myself to ridicule so I shut myself in the corridors of my mind and keep whatever I find there to myself.

"A fellow can't keep people from having a bad opinion about him, but he can keep them from being right about it." - Author Unknown

How true this statement is. You cannot control people's thoughts or opinions about you but you CAN keep them from being right about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We seem unable to differentiate between opinion, perception and fact. So with my ramblings on this site I intend to "open" myself more to others. No matter how wrong my thoughts or opinions, they are mine. This is the most important thing. It is about me and my getting to know me. Hopefully through this medium I can close the gap between my self-perception and the reality which is me.

When life gives you lemons...

Life is so unfair!!! Nothing seems to be going your way. Everything just seems to be going wrong. Man, this sucks (sic)!!!

Have you ever felt this way? Has this ever happened to you? Well it has happened to me - more times than I care to remember. No matter how well I plan, no matter how sure the bet, no matter how prepared I think I am, something always happens to spoil the party.

I have been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I appologise for using this well worn yet apt cliche'. We dream dreams only to have them shattered. Everything goes along fine until suddenly - BAM!!! There it is... It has happened... Life. Yep, life has happened. Life has a way of creeping up on us and giving us a reality check. No matter who you are, what colour you are, what your status in life. No-one is spared from the realities of life. Life has a way of hitting us where and when we least expect it. We cannot prepare for it. We cannot shelter ourselves or hide from it, nor can we run away from it no matter how hard we try. It is there. It is going to happen.

So instead of reacting negatively and fighting against life I have decided to accept what life has to offer, be it good or bad, and embrace it. So, when life gives me lemons - I make lemonade.

If you are feeling as I do and you are tired of fighting against life; here is a first-aid kit to help you through:

Lemonade, that classic summer quencher, is easily made from scratch. The best version combines a simple sugar syrup and fresh squeezed lemon juice. This recipe serves two.

Ingredients:
1 c. sugar
1 c. water
1 large lemon
16 to 20 oz. cold water
ice
garnishes (optional): mint sprig, lemon slice, maraschino cherry

Steps:

1. Make sugar syrup: Combine 1 c. sugar and 1 c. water in a saucepan and heat to boiling. Remove from heat, stir to dissolve sugar completely, and allow to cool. (You'll only use a couple of tablespoons per serving, but this is a good item to make ahead and store in the refrigerator, covered. It keeps for weeks.)

2. For each serving, combine the juice of half a lemon, 2 tbsp. of the sugar syrup and 8 to 10 oz. cold water in a tall glass.

3. Add ice and any of the garnishes (or all of them, if you're feeling festive). Serve immediately.

Tips:

One lemon, depending on its size, will yield about 1/4 to 1/3 c. juice.

For a quick microwave version, combine 2 tbsp. sugar and 2 tbsp. water in a tall, microwave-safe glass. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Stir to dissolve completely, cool a bit, then add fresh lemon juice, cold water and ice, if desired.

Warnings:

Be extremely careful when handling hot sugar syrup. It can cause a nasty burn. A child can make the lemonade once the syrup is cooled, but an adult should do this first step.

(Recipe taken from: http://www.ehow.com/how_140_make-lemonade.html)

The mark of success?

A question which has been plaguing me for quite some time now is: "What does it mean to be successful?" This, however, brings about more questions such as: "How does one measure success?"; "What does one have to do to become successful?"

Oh man! I really put my foot in it today. I have thought and pondered upon this question for quite some time now. How does one know whether they are a success or not?

The Oxford dictionary defines sucess as:
"success
• noun 1 the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. 2 the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status. 3 a person or thing that achieves success.
— ORIGIN Latin successus, from succedere ‘come close after’."

Ok; Looking at this definition, I think I am approaching this topic wrong. If one measures success by bank balances and worldly possessions then I am definitely out of the running as far as being a success is concerned and this does not sit well with me as I cannot see my life as being a failure. With this in mind; "What classifies a person as being a success?"

Through my thought process and pondering, I have come to the conclusion that "PERSONAL SUCCESS" is relative. What one person defines as personal success is not neccessarily agreed upon by another. This is determined by our values and upbringing. To me being a success is a many faceted state of being, made up of different yet interlinked parameters. It is personal and relative only to me. We cannot determine our success by benchmarking ourselves against others. By doing so the parameters by which we measure personal success change. It is far easier to monitor other people and their success or failure than to monitor ourselves. By monitoring ourselves we have to do lots of introspection and getting to know ourselves. This is a difficult thing to do as it opens us up to our failures and shortcomings. In the world we live in, failure is frowned upon. All you have to do is stand at the side of a field where a group of 8 year olds are playing football (soccer) and watch the reactions of the coach and parents when one of the players or teams do not perform to their liking. The abhorance of failure is planted in our psychi at a very tender age, so it is no wonder that we fear failure.

We are all individuals and as such, we have to set our own parameters against which we measure ourselves. We need to understand that failure is not a bad thing if we take the experience to learn and grow from it. What we need to do is set goals for ourselves and upon achieving them mark them down as success; whether this be monetary, physical, emotional, marital or spiritual. We can only measure our personal success using ourselves as a benchmark. To do otherwise is folly. I may not have answered all the questions I started with, but I realise that only I can determine whether I am a success or not. My thoughts and actions determine who I am and this in turn determines how I handle success OR failure.