A stranger's just a friend you do not know...

I have just spent some time sitting and watching people go about their business, walking to and fro. Some dressed smartly in their business suits while others were dressed – well let’s just say, not so smart; young and old, male and female. I watch as they drive up, their cars all fancy and shining with the odd “older” model making an appearance here and there. Well, just to put you in the picture, I work in a very up-market area, where most of the cars driving around cost a fortune. The building I work in (we are situated on the mezzanine level) is surrounded by coffee shops and eating places. So there I sat on the balcony, a cup of coffee in my hand, enjoying a cigarette (yes, I know – it’s a bad habit and I really am trying to quit) just watching the people as they walked past, listening to their voices as it floated up from the cafés and restaurants below. I looked across the square and everywhere I looked the places were filled with groups of people or single individuals, there was a bustle all around as the bright winter sun shone down upon the scene.

I sat thinking as I observed this scene playing out below me; "We pass people every day of our lives, bumping into them as we jostle along busy pavements going about our daily activities. The odd “I’m sorry” or “excuse me”, most times getting irritated by the “closeness” of the people around you, the environment forcing them into what today is known as our “personal space”. I miss the days when we were less technical and friendlier, where a “good morning” or “good afternoon” accompanied by a smile was the order of the day. We seemed to have had more time for each other then, we were more personable, more approachable. Today you are lucky to be given directions should you be lost. I look at the people below and I start wondering about them. Are they really as happy as they portray or is it a façade? All of them strangers, passing by each other, intent only on the business of the day. Friendliness seems to be a trait long forgotten, replaced by a self-centeredness ."

Life would be easier if we were friendlier, people smiling and being courteous toward each other as they go about their business and where strangers are made to feel welcome. Personally I love meeting new people. I love getting to know people from all walks of life, different cultures, different ways of thinking. How else can I improve the person I am? In today's society it has become extremely difficult to do this. Should you approach anyone without being requested to do so, you are looked upon as if you are mad; that there has to be something wrong with you. People automatically close up, their "burglar bars" coming down to protect them from the world, their eyes filled with suspicion and dread. They are like dear caught in your headlights and you are the vehicle. You see their indecision as they step back and attempt to walk around you as you approach them, panic taking over their every action. It is actually quite funny, you should try it sometime. This highlights the state of our society, the world we live in. I may be wrong when it comes to small towns and I apologise if I am generalising, but in the big city it sure is this way. Thinking of this brings a song to mind; a song my father used to play as I was growing up. It goes something like this:

“If ever your life is lonely, if ever you’re feeling low. There's one thing you must remember - A stranger’s just a friend you do not know.”

- Jim Reeves: A stranger’s just a friend

Thinking about this song, I got up from the chair I was sitting on and killed my cigarette, then finished the last of my now cold cup of coffee and went back to my desk leaving the hustle and bustle below.

Relationships

What is it about relationships that can make our lives deliriously happy or extremely miserable? Lately I have been thinking about relationships; family, friends, the relationship between a man and a woman.

Relationships are precarious things at best and good relationships are formed, forged and developed over a long period of time. When it comes to a relationship between a man and a woman this precarious “bond” becomes exponentially more so. I have found that when in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, at the start of the relationship the more time you spend with the individual the more your feelings toward the person grow stronger until it reaches a plateau. During this “honeymoon” period, all things are rosy and no matter what the person does it is acceptable and yeah, you find it cute. Then as you get used to the person and are comfortable in each other’s company, unless you are one of the few who know how to keep the flames of passion burning brightly, things start to wane and you start taking things for granted. The small things you did because you were in love now become more and more of a task than an act of love, so much so that you stop doing these things. The individual’s faults and flaws become more and more apparent – he snores, her feet are cold etc. The thin veneer called love which covered these little cracks seems to vanish and those idiosyncrasies you found so cute and adoring at the start of your relationship now become huge craters when things go wrong.

Relationships, especially those between a man and a woman, take hard work. You have to continually work at it to perfect it. Love too, is hard work but the result of loving someone and being loved by someone is well worth it. The mistake we make is thinking that being in love and staying in love is automatic. It is not. It is a continual act of caring and sharing, not just by saying I love you but showing that I love you by doing small silly things even making a fool of yourself to put a smile on your partners face.

Remember: A perfect relationship between you and your partner doesn’t mean that the people in it are perfect. It means that you both overlook each other’s imperfections. Love hopes all things and endures all things. Ultimately it is built on acts of faith.